How to wash your cat

You put the cat in the toilet, add soap, sit on lid, flush several times.

Don't worry, the cat won't go down or drown. Then run like crazy. Close bathroom door on the way out.

The cat will pop the lid. Shake itself out. Claw up the toilet paper and crap on the floor (if you don't keep the litter box in the bathroom, that is).

You can clean up the mess later, but the cat's washed. BTW, you might want to lock your bedroom door for the next couple of nights; they remember.

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