Adult Joke

(1)  To make it straight, she pulls it..
    To make it stand, she rubs it.
    To make it stiff, she licks it.
    To put it in, she pushes it.
    It's hell of a job threading a needle!

(2)  A guy donated blood to his girlfriend. When they broke up, he wanted his blood back.
    The girl threw a bloody kotex at him and said,  I'll pay you in monthly installment.'

(3)  Girl in cinema turns sideways and whispers to her boyfriend.
    'The man next to me is masturbating!'
    Bf:  'Ignore him.'
    Gf: 'I can't.'
    Bf: 'Why not?'
    Gf: 'He is using my hand!'

(4)  The Bio teacher draws a huge PENIS on the board  and asks 'Does anybody know what this is?
    Dirty Harry says 'Oh, it's a penis and you know my dad's got 2 of them?'
    The teacher says '2 of them?'
    Harry says 'ya! the little one he uses to pee, and the big one to brush mum's teeth.'

(5)  4 miracles of a woman
    Getting wet without taking a shower
    Bleeding without getting hurt
    Giving milk without eating grass
    Making boneless meat hard.

(6)  What is the smallest hotel in the world?
    The answer is 'Vagina Inn'
    It accommodates only 1 standing occupant with his 2 baggage left outside.

(7) Unborn twins saw a penis approaching.
    1st:  Papa coming, papa coming.
    2nd: U fool, it's uncle laa! Papa never comes with raincoat!

(8) A hubby said to his wife, 'I will take a photo of your breast and frame it..'
    The wife said to husband, 'I will take a photo of  your penis and enlarge it.'

(9)  At 15, a girl is a SURPRISE.
    At 25, she is the RIGHT PRICE.
    At 35, a GRAND PRIZE.
    At 45, a CONSOLATION PRIZE.
    At 55, she is a DOOR PRIZE, and
    at 65, a GIVEAWAY PRIZE.

(10)  What did Snow White complain about after having sex with the 7 dwarfs?
      Snow White said, 'I would rather have 7 inches at  1 time. Not 1 inch 7 times.'

(11) The vagina is the world's best rehabilitation/correction center.
      Even the most violent and aggresive penis comes out  humbled, head bowed and reduced in size.

(12)  A loving husband had 'I Love You'  tattooed on his dick.
      When he got home, he showed it to his wife.
      She said, 'There u go again, trying to put words in my mouth.'

(13)  Lady was trying on a dress.
      Husband: 'Your bum is as big as a BBQ pit!'
      Later in bed, husband said, 'Want to do it?'
      Wife: 'It's a waste lighting up a BBQ pit for a small sausage.'

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