Melbourne International Airport
You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in Melbourne.
Some of you (pilots) will enjoy this more than others....Victorians can be so polite!
Melbourne Tower: "Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you, Melbourne. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R – Allah be Praised."
Melbourne Tower: "Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land on runway 27L."
Iran Air: "Thank you, Melbourne. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L. - Allah is Great."
Saudi Air: "MELBOURNE TOWER! MELBOURNE TOWER!"
Melbourne Tower: "Go ahead, Saudi Air 511..."
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE....!!!! INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"
Melbourne Tower: "Well bless your hearts, and praise Jesus. Proceed to your destination and tell Allah we said "Hi."