How To Be An Idiot

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?

Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

I'm sorry. My fault; I forgot you were an idiot.

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.


"A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS--But it uses up a thousand times the memory."

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

"The trouble with life is there's no background music."

"The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."

"Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane."

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