Bar Room Translations

"You get this one, next round is on me."
We won't be here long enough to get another round.

"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

"Can I get a glass of White Zinfandel."
FEMALE -- I'm easy.
MALE -- I'm gay.

"Ever try a body shot?"
MALE TO FEMALE -- I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
FEMALE TO MALE -- If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?

"I don't feel well, let's go home."
FEMALE -- You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
MALE -- I'm horny.

"Who's got the next round?"
I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

"Excuse me."
MALE TO MALE -- Get the hell out of the way.
MALE TO FEMALE -- I am going to grope you now.
FEMALE TO MALE -- Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.
FEMALE TO FEMALE -- Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that pretty,
missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your
eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.

What's cheap?

"Can I have a White Russian?"
MALE -- I'm really gay.
FEMALE -- I'm really easy.

"That person looks really familiar."
Did I sleep with him/her?

"Can I just get a glass of water?"
FEMALE -- I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.

"I don't have my ID on me."
FEMALE -- I'm 16.
MALE -- I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a .2 after my last visit here.]

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