Before: Family time was spent watching TV or playing board games together.
After: Family time is spent in separate corners of the house, each on their own computer instant messaging one another.
Before: People could properly spell and used decent grammar.
After: Now thx 2 IM and SMS, they spel lik dis. LOL!!!!!!
Before: We wrote letters to friends and loved ones far away, and maybe even the occasional Pen Pal.
After: Now we just forward joke e-mails and Internet hoaxes to loved ones and friends while not even bothering to remove the hundreds of forwarded addresses contained within the message. By the way, what's a Pen Pal?
Before: Door-to-door Encyclopedia salesmen.
After: Wikipedia donations.
Before: Recording industry execs making fat profits all-the-while complaining about the bootlegging of their music.
After: Recording industry execs making fat profits all-the-while complaining about illegal downloading via p2p networks.
Before: We used the Dewey Decimal System and Microfilm to find information at local Libraries.
After: Google
Before: Phone books
After: Search engines
Before: Teen lines
After: Cell phones, IM, SMS, email, Skype, etc...
Before: Floating checks to avoid overdrafting your checking account.
After: Immediately bouncing checks (or maybe you're asking yourself what is a Check?)
Before: Getting caught looking at your Father's Playboy.
After: Catching your Dad looking at Internet porn because he forgot to clear his browser history.
Before: Kids would hang out at Video Arcades, Malls, Roller Rinks, and pizza places.
After: Kids hang out at MySpace.com ...............Speaking of MySpace...
Before: I have a friend named Tom.
After: Everyone has a friend named Tom and no one realizes they can easily get rid of him.
Before: People went on blind dates or met people at the bar to find romance.
After: Now we sit at home alone and surf Match.com to find romance.
Before: We scoured the neighborhoods for Garage Sales with the best junk to buy.
After: eBay and Craigslist.
Before: VCRs and TV Guide
After: Tivo
Before: Walking billboards, bumper stickers and print advertising.
After: Viral videos and forehead advertising.
Before: Gossiping about a friend, neighbor, family member, or cow-orker.
After: We google people to get dirt on them.
Before: Shopping the day after Thanksgiving not quite sure of the deals you will find.
After: Planning your Black Friday assault in October thanks to web sites like BlackFridayAds.com.
Before: Newspapers, Radio, and TV.
After: Social news sites, Podcasts, and YouTube.
Before: Commuting to work by car, bus or train.
After: Telecommuting to work in your underwear.
Before: We got our news from the likes of Rather, Jennings and Brokaw.
After: We get our news from the likes of Stewart, Colbert, and Drudge.
Before: Children wrote letters to Santa Claus and mailed them to the North Pole.
After: Children send email to Santa Claus at northpole.com and track his progress Christmas Eve via satellites on NoradSanta.org
Before: Dear Diary, ....
After: Don't you read my blog?
Before: Broadway shows - The Sound of Music
After: Broadway shows - Avenue Q - The internet is for porn - porn, porn, porn,porn- The internet is for porn!!
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