The Secret Why You Never Send Your Kid To Sunday School

Let’s not talk about politics today and instead look into the mind of an innocent toddler and how he perceives religious teachings, which sometimes do not make sense to small minds that can think better than mature minds.

Yes, son.
How did I get here?
Err…hmm…why don’t you ask your mum? I want to read the papers.
I did and mum said to ask you, dad.
Ah…well…the stork brought you.

Oh. But my Sunday school teacher said we all came from Adam and Eve.
Well…that is also true.
You mean we all came from Adam and Eve?
Yes. Now run along and play. I want to read my papers.

My Sunday school teacher said Adam and Eve were the first two people on earth.
Yes, that’s right.
So who married them then?
What do you mean?
Aunty Sara and Uncle Bill got married by the priest. So who married Adam and Eve if they were the only two people on earth?
Err…no one.

So Adam’s and Eve’s children are all bastards then?
Hoi…where did you learn that word from? You must never use that word.
I heard you saying that, dad.
Yes, you said that your boss is a bastard. I asked Mike what bastard means and he told me. How do you know that your boss is a bastard like Adam’s and Eve’s children?
That was merely a figure of speech. I did not mean it literally. Oh never mind. No. Adam’s and Eve’s children are not bastards even though Adam and Eve never got married by a priest.
Oh, okay.
Now run along son.

But who did Adam’s and Eve’s children marry?
They married each other, son. You see, there were no other people on earth other than just Adam and Eve and their children.
So does that mean I can marry Kate when we grow up?
No, son, you can’t. Kate is your sister.
Oh. But Adam’s and Eve’s children were also brothers and sisters.
Yes they were. But at that time it was okay for brothers and sisters to get married. Now go outside and play.

We were also told the story of Noah and his yacht.
That’s good son. But it was called an ark, not yacht. Now go and play.

Did you know that Noah got all the animals onto the ark before the great flood and he saved all the animals? If not there would be no animals around today.
Yes, I know that, son.
But how did he feed those animals, dad?
I suppose he also had food on the ark, son.
But lions and tigers eat other animals. Won’t they eat up all the other animals on the ark?
No they won’t, son.

Then how did they stay alive for so long without food if the lions and tigers did not eat up all the other animals?
I don’t know, son, but I am sure that Noah had figured all this out before he took all those animals onto the ark.
My Sunday school teacher said that every animal alive today was on that ark.
That is true son.

Even penguins?

Yes, even penguins, son.
But there are no penguins living in the desert, dad. Where did Noah find penguins?
I am sure there were penguins in the desert at that time or maybe Noah found a way to get some from the North Pole.
But penguins live in the South Pole, dad.

Did Noah have a freezer on the ark?
Yes, penguins need the cold. They cannot live in the hot desert.

Yes, John.
We have to stop sending Tim to Sunday school. I don’t think they are teaching him the right things.

Thanks, dad. Can I go outside and play now?

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