Honk If You Want To See My Finger
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT.
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
Hang up and drive.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.