The Secrets How to Make a Good Children

 A couple were celebrating 50 years together.  Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the third son arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor.  Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each
other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep," said the father, "and cheap ones too."

Kamus Besar Bahasa Alay

Aja : Ja, Ajj
Yang : Iank/Iang, Eank/Eang

Gue : W, Wa, Q, Qu, G
Lo : U
Boleh : Leh
Telepon : Tilp
Ini : Iniyh, Nc
Ketawa : wkwkwk, xixixi, haghaghag, w.k.k.k.k.k. , wkowkowkwo
Nggak : Gga, Gax, Gag, Gz
Hai : Ui
SMS : ZMZ, XMX, MZ
Lagi : Ghiy, Ghiey, Gi
Belum : Lom, Lum
Cape : Cppe, Cpeg
Kan : Khan, Kant, Kanz
Manis : Maniezt, Manies
Cakep : Ckepp
Keren : Krenz, Krent
Kurang : Krang, Krank
Tau : Taw, Tawh, Tw

Bokep : Bokebb
Dulu : Duluw
Chat : C8
Tempat : T4
Sempat : S4
Apa : Pa, PPa
Tapi : PPi
Mengeluh : Hufft
Baru : Ru
Rumah : Humz, Hozz
Ya/Iya : Yupz, Ia, Iupz
Kok : KoQ, KuQ, Kog, Kug
Nih : Niyh, Niech, Nieyh
Tuh : Tuwh, Tuch
Deh : Dech, Deyh

Lucu : Luthu, Uchul, Luchuw
Khusus : Khuzuz
Kalian : Klianz

Nya, contoh : misalnya, jadi misalna, misal’a, misal.a
Imut : Imoetz, Mutz
Loh : Loch, Lochkz, Lochx
Gitu : Gtw, Gitchu, Gituw
Salam : Lam
Kenal : Nal
Add : Et, Ett
Banget : Bangedh, Beud, Beut

Cowok : Cwokz
Karena/Soalnya : Coz, Cz
Makan : Mumz, Mamz
Yuk : Yuq, Yuqz, Yukz
Lupa : Lupz
Udah : Dagh
Kamu : Kamuh, Kamyu, Qmu, Kamuwh
Aku : Akyu, Akuwh, Akku
Maaf : Mu’uv, Muupz, Muuv
Sorry : Cowwyy, Sowry
Siapa : Sppa, Cppa, Cpa, Spa
Kakak : Kakagg
Pasti : Pzt
Anak : Nax, Anx, Naq
Cuekin : Cuxin

Curhat : Cvrht
Terus : Rus, Tyuz, Tyz
Tiap : Tyap
Kalau : Kaluw, Klw, Low
Setiap : Styp
Main : Men

Sih : Siech, Sieyh, Ciyh
Dong : Dumz, Dum

Buat : Wat, Wad
Cewek : Cwekz
Reply : Repp
Halo : Alow
Sayang : Saiank, Saiang
Masuk : Suk, Mzuk, Mzug, Mzugg
Punya : Pya, P’y
Paling : Plink, P’ling
Love : Luph, Luff, Loupz, Louphh


Ciyus: Serius?
Miapah: Demi Apa?
Cungguh: Sungguh?
Binun: Bingung
Akooh: Aku
Cemungudh: Semangat
Gudnyus: Good News
Masya: Masak?
Enelan: Beneran?
Lahasia: Rahasia
Macapah: Sama Siapa?
Amaca: Ah Masak?
Kiyim: Kirim
Ca oong cih: Masak Bohong Sih?
Maacih: Makasih
Macama: Macama

ini contoh kalimat alay yang bikin pusing bacanya :
QmO dLaM iDopQhO (kamu dalam hidupku..)
q tWo……………… (aku tau……)
qMo mANk cLiD wAd cYanK m qHo…………. (kamu memang sulit buat sayang sama aku…)
tPhE qMo pLu tHwO„„„ (tapi kamu perlu tau….)
mY LuPi”………… (my love, cintaku, lupi lupi di kuping gue kedengerannya kayak permen yupi) aLwaYs 4’U…………… (always for you, cuman buat kamu)
cO’nA cMa qMo YaNk Co WaD qHo cYuM………… (soalnya cuma kamu yang cowo buat aku senyum -oke ni si ophi jelas jelas tidak mengikuti kaidah yang benar dalam membuat struktur kalimat)
k’tHwA„„„„„„(ketawa…)
cNeNk…………….. (dan senang)
tHanKz b’4„„„„„„ (thanks before, terimakasih sebelumnya)
yOz aLaWAiCe d bEzT……………. (you always the best, kamu selalu yang terbaik -ALAWAICE? WTF?)
iN meYe heArD„„„„„„, (in my heart, dalam hatiku -btw MEYE? APA ITU HAHA)
tHo_tHo………….. (dadah -ini dadah doang ribet banget nulisnya)
LupHz yOu„„„„„„, (love you, sayang kamu)
bU_bU„„„„„„(bubu)
satu lagi..
I’m ReGrEeEeeEEeeEet nOw……………. (aku menyesal sekarang)
naFaZ„„„„„ (napas)
bNcHi qOh nGmBAnK………………. (benci aku ngambang)
hOeKkkKKk…………….. (sound effect muntah, HOEEEKK -tuh kan muntah HAHA)
.
nPhA jDe gnE????????? ?????? (mengapa jadi begini?)
i dOn’t LiKe tHaT………….. (I don’t like that, aku tidak suka itu)
qOh g Mo iDoP dLAM kmNfqAn………. (aku ga mau hidup dalam kemunafikan-WUESSS angin berhembus)
tHiZ iZ buLLsHiT!!!! !!!!!!! (this is bullshit!, ini semua omong
kosong!!! -penuh amarah membara)
####!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! (####!!!!!! TA* )
SADAM WITHOUT WORD!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !! (sadam without word, sadam tanpa kata -WTF tiba tiba bawa sadam? ato DIAM maksudnya? oh diam deh kayaknya)
HAifTf……………… (huff)
satu lagi deh…
TaKe mE 2 yOuR hEaRtZzz???? ????????? ????? (take me to your heart, bawa aku ke dalam hatimu)
cXnK qMoh tO cKiDnAAAAaaaAaAaaaa……. (sayang kamu tuh sakitnya…)
m_tHa apOn YoH……………… (minta ampun ya…)
qoH tLuZ”aN uCHA bWaD tTeP qEqEUh cXnK qMo………. (aku terus terusan berusaha buat tetep kekeuh sayang kamu…)
bUD„„„„„„„„„ , (but, tetapi…)
hUhuHuHfTFTf………….. .. (huft huft -ehem ophi centil deh)
cIa” adJA………………… (sia sia aja -CIA? yang di amerika?)
####???????? ???? (TA*??????)
maYbe??????? ???????? (maybe, mungkin????? )
ckIdDDdddDDDd„„„„„„„„„„„„„ „„„ „„ (SAKIIIIIIT! -ini ngomong sakitdoang kayak suara ban ngerem ehm)
pGEn qOh tO bLanK……………………. . (pengen aku tuh bilang)
U bLOkE mY hEaLtH!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! ! (you bloke my health, kamu cowokesehatanku, atau kamu merusak kesehatanku? -HAHAHAHAHA YOU BROKE MY HEART KOK JADI YOU BLOKE MY HEALTH? jauh gitu artinyaaaa! LOL)
i tHinK…………….. (aku pikir…)
it’Z DISGUSTING vOiCE……………….. (itu suara menjijkan -ga nyambung)
anDeE…………………. (andaiii…)
adJA g2 dRe wAL…………….. (aja gitu dari awal)
qTaH gAg mKeN dIEM”aN gNe tOh???!?@??@ ?@??@@?@? (kita ga makin diem
dieman gini tho’?)