Ah Beng from Singapore

Someone asks Ah Beng why Lee Hsien Loong goes walking only in the evening
but not in the morning.
Ah Beng replies 'Because he is PM not AM'
Ah Beng buys a new mobile. He sends a message to everyone in his Phone Book
& says,  'My Mobile  number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310.  Now it
is Nokia 6610'
Ah Beng : I am proud coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
Dr : Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Ah Beng : People consider me as a  'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the park today, everybody said, "Oh GOD! Why U come
here again?"
Ah Beng reports to police: 'Sir, all items are missing except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'Why the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
Ah Beng comes back to his car & finds a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'
How do you recognize Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases his notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
Ah  Beng was sitting in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I am here?'
Ah Beng always sit on the lower level of double-decker buses.
When asked why so, he says "Upstairs no driver".
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella.
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng: The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’

Ah Beng: Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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