"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At a Proctologist' s door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician' s truck:
"We'll look into your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist' s Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist' s window:
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian' s waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
Sign on the back of another Septic Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
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