The World Funniest Ever Exam Test Answers

I’ve seen these questions and answers posted in various places, the questions were apparently set in GCSE examinations in England.

The answers are (supposedly) actual answers from 16 year olds, worrying if true, but hilarious, and worth repeating:

Q  Name the four seasons
A Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q  Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q  How is dew formed
A The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q  What causes the tides in the oceans
A The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q  What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q  In a democratic society, how important are elections
A Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q  What are steroids
A Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q  What happens to your body as you age
A When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q  What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q  Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A Premature death

Q  What is artificial insemination
A When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q  How can you delay milk turning sour
A Keep it in the cow

Q  How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q  What is the fibula?
A A small lie

Q  What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A Nearby

Q  What is the most common form of birth control
A Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q  Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q  What is a seizure?
A A Roman Emperor

Q  What is a terminal illness
A When you are sick at the airport

Q  Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q  Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A Hands that judicious can be soft as your face

Q  What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q  What is a turbine?
A Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Rahasia Terlarang Filosofi Jawa

Jer Basuki mawa bea.

Witing Tresno saking Kulino

Sugih tanpo bondo, digdhaya tanpo aji
Ngluruk tanpo bolo, menang tanpo ngasorake

Ojo mung golek bener namung goleko pener

Ajining sariro gumantung soko busono, ajining dhiri gmantung kendali lathi

Mangan ora mangan asal kumpul

Ojo ngajeni uwong mergo bondo, rupo lan kuoso tapi lan amargo tingkah lakune

Memayu hayuning pribadi, memayu hayuning kaluargo, memayu hayuning sesomo, memayu hayuning bawono.

Yen lagi rekoso ojo ngersulo, luwih becik donga-o

Becik ketitik, olo ketoro

Adigang, adigung, adiguno, adiwacoro

Cakra manggilingan.

Kerah agawe bubrah

Dhemit ora ndulit, setan ora doyan

Dhuwur wekasane, endhek wiwitane

Diobong orak kobong, disiram orak teles

Diwehi ati ngrogoh rempela

Dumadining sira iku lantaran anane bapa biyung ira.

Akhirnya mulia, yang semula sederhana

Dumadining sira iku lantaran anane bapa biyung ira.

Ojo dumeh, ayo nyeleneh

Rahasia Terlarang Pancasila yang Tersembunyi

Berhubung sekarang sudah era Otonomi Daerah, maka PANCASILA sudah disesuaikan dengan daerah masing-masing...

PANCASILA ( Jawa )
* Kaping setunggal : Gusti ingkang Moho Setunggal.
* Kaping kalih : Tiang ingkang Adil lan beradap.
* Kaping tigo : Persetunggalan Indonesia.
* Kaping sekawan : Kerakyatan ingkang dipun pimpin kaliyan hikmat lan kewicaksonoan dateng permusyawaratan ingkang diwakilkan.
* Kaping gangsal : Adil ingkang sosial kangge sakabehe tiang Indonesia....

PANCASILA ( Sunda )
* Hiji : Gusti Allah eta sorangan sareng ageung pisan.
* Dua : Ka sorangan teh sikapna kudu sami, ulah ngabeda-beda keun.
* Tilu : Indonesia kuduna mah jadi hiji.
* Opat : Ra'yat Indonesia sae na pang mutuskeun segala teh disepakatkeun.
* Heula : Kedah bager lan bijaksana.
* Lima : Ceunah teh sikap sosialna kudu adil hiji sareng batur.

PANCASILA ( Batak )
* Sada : Dang adong na pajago-jagohon di jolo ni Debata.
* Dua : Maradat tu sude jolma.
* Tolu : Punguan ni halak Indonesia.
* Opat : Marbadai...marbadai, dungi mardame.
* Lima : Godang pe habis saotik pe sukkup.

PANCASILA ( Palembang )
* Sute : Tuhan ne sute tu'la.
* Due : Jelme harus khapat same rate.
* Tige : Jelme Indonesiane bersatu padu.
* Empat : Jeleme Indonrsiane diketuci ngai hikmah di mane ngedapatkan jawaban dadi gegale masalah.
* Leme : Kesameratean hidup ne jelmekangok Indonesia.

PANCASILA ( Ambon )
1. Torang samua tawu cuma ada Tuang Allah yaitu Tete manu.
2. Orang Ambon samu harus tau adat.
3. Acang deng obet harus bisa bakubae.
4. Paitua deng maitua harus bae-bae di rumah rakyat.
5. Samu harus bisa jaga diri karna Ambon lapar makan orang.

PANCASILA ( Manado)
1. Cuma boleh ba satu Tuhan.
2. Selalu adil kong ja pake ontak.
3. Torang samua satu, Bangsa Indonesia.
4. Tu rakyat musti slalu bakumpul kong bicara bae-bae supaya slalu ada kaputusan gagah yang semua trima deng senang hati.
5. Voor seluruh rakyat Indonesia, nyanda ada tu jabaku kase beda-beda parlakuan.

PANCASILA ( Padang )
* Ciek : Bintang  Basagi Limo.
* Duo : Rantai pangikek kudo.
* Tigo : Pohon baringin gadang ta'mpek kito bacinto.
* Ampek : Kapalo banteng bataduk duo.
* Limo : Padi jo kapeh pambaluik nan luko.

PANCASILA ( Banyumasan )
* Siji : Gusti Allah ora ana kancane.
* Loro : Dadi wong kudu sing adil karo aja kejem-kejem.
* Telu : Indonesia bersatu kabeh.
* Papat : Karo tangga-tangga nekc ana masalah kudune diomongna bareng-bareng.
* Lima : Mangan ora mangan sing penting pada ngumpul.

Rahasia Sukses Selingkuh Tapi Diijinin Pasangan !! Nikmattt !!!

Malam itu seorang istri dan suami tengah bercakap-cakap

Istri : mas, aku boleh ikut yoga..?
Suami : boleh, terserah kamu aja kalo itu memang keinginanmu

Tidak lama kemudian mereka cerai karena si istri memilih ikut Yoga, yang ganteng lagi atletis, yang tinggal di sebelah rumah...

Rahasia Terlarang Dunia Kita Sehari Hari

1. Dok, tolong selametin anak saya! || Tenang dulu bu! Anak ibu kenapa? || Anak saya ulang tahun dok! Selametin ya…

2. Rapi amat lo Dul, mau kemana? || Nonton konser Mak! || Dimana? || Di Youtube || Oh, baek baek yak Dul || Iye mak

3. Bang, bakso dong || Boleh || Sambelnya banyakin dikit || Mau lu apa sih, banyak ape sedikit gitu aja ngomong nya biar jelas guaa ?

4. Bang, nasi goreng satu || Pedes apa ga? || Mana gue tau ? Kan belum juga di goreng nasi nya apa lagi nyicipin

5. Bang bubur 1 ya || Pakai kacang? || ya Pakee.. || Dikasih ayam nga ? || lah Kalau dikasih ayam gue makan apa?

6. Saya mau ngelamar kerja, ini poto copy ijazah saya || Kok poto copy?!? aslinya mana…???|| Asli Tegal…!!

7. Bang maaf, disini ruangan ber-AC, jadi nggak boleh ngerokok. || Oh maaf pak, lupa matiin AC-nya…!!! (Ambil remote)

8. Bang, kok mie ayamnya gak ada ayamnya?! || Lah, lu kalau beli lem tikus emang ada tikusnya?! || Gerrrrrrr

9. Mbak minta es teh || Manis gak? || Gak usah manis-manis, yang penting setia dan mau menerima saya apa adanya *eaaaaaaa

10. Guru: Ayo anak-anak coba sebutkan ciri-ciri gunung aktif || Murid: miscall aja bu, kalo nyambung berarti aktif

11. Dek sekolah di mana?, kok bajunya kotak-kotak hitam putih gitu? || Sekolah TK || TK mana? || TK teki silang

12. Abang bakso, gerobaknya rusak ya? || Enggak koq.. || Lah… Koq didorong?

Rahasia Terlarang Tips Pasti Move On

Move on itu pilihan, gagal move on itu cobaan, dan pura-pura move on itu pencitraan

Rahasia Terlarang Bikin Wanita Selalu Keinget Ranjang

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