PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released
- No one expects you to run anywhere.
- People call at 9pm and ask 'Did I wake you?'
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- You can eat supper at 4pm.
- You can live without sex but not your glasses.
- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who
walks into the room.
- You sing along with the music in lifts.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the
national weather forecast.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they
can't remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
- You can't remember who sent you this list.
- And you notice these are all in 'big print' for your convenience.