Lowongan Kerja Gaji Dollar - Dibutuhkan CEPAT!!

ADA YANG BERMINAT UNTUK MENGISI LOWONGAN DI P&G, GAJI DOLLAR....

EXTREMELY URGENT!!

PT. P&G akan mengembangkan usahanya dengan mendirikan pabrik DEODORANT PARFUM. Dan membuka lowongan pekerjaan khususnya untuk jabatan DEODORANT QUALITY CONTROL development.

Fasilitas2 yg akan didapat :

1. Gaji sekitar 5.000 dollar / bulan

2. Asuransi kesehatan

3. Bekerja 6 jam / hari, 5 hari waktu kerja /minggu

4. Tunjangan transportasi

5. Asuransi kecelakaan, tercover 5 org / keluarga







Job description dpt dilihat di gambar terlampir:

Cokelat dapat Membuat KAKI Mengecil - Hati-hati!!

Kami sejak kecil terbiasa dalam mengkonsumsi cokelat.. bahkan hingga masa remaja pun kami masih mengkonsumsinya, namun setelah bertahun tahun kami mengkonsumsi barulah kami sadari...
Bahkan Dinas Kesehatan pun mengeluarkan peringatan untuk hal ini...
bahwa mengkonsumsi cokelat ternyata tidak dianjurkan.
bahkan penyakit yang ditimbulkan pun susah untuk di obati.

bahwa COKELAT dapat membuat KAKI MENGECIL!!!

INI ADALAH PERINGATAN MEDIS
Infokan ini kepada teman, saudara, keluarga atau kerabat dekat anda SEGERA!

Biarlah kami yang menjadi korban penyakit ini, semoga tidak ada lagi korban selanjutnya...

Inilah kami dengan kaki kami yang mengecil...
Wakakakak.....ka...kak.........

Tes IQ Gratis!! Cuma di sini!!!

TES kelemotan OTAK:

1. Jawab lgs spontan , jangan kelamaan mikir
2. baca satu demi satu yg cepat.
3. Konsentrasi ..

Permainan konsentrasi warna ...

1. kertas HVS warnanya apa ?

2. awan warnanya apa ?

3. tissu warnanya apa ?

4. sapi minum apa ?

Yang ngejawab susu konsentrasi anda terganggu,
karena sapi minum air

1. rambut anda warna apa?

2. Alis warnanya apa ??

3. aspal warnanya apa ???

4. kelelawar tidurnya kapan?

Yang menjawab malam, artinya konsentrasinya tergganggu.
karena kelelawar tidur siang hari.

1. warna dari cendol apa?

2. daun kelapa warnanya apa?

3. warna umum rumput?

4. macan makan apa?

Yang jawab rumput , itu salah,
karena macan makan daging

Hayo ngaku salah brapa =)) Pasti senyum2 sndri..
Jgn di clear chat yah..:) ini berguna untuk otak mu..
kalau lucu kirimin aksi apa reaksimu

JUJUR SALAH BERAPA ?

Rahasia Agar Berumur Panjang Tanpa Harus ke Gunung Kawi

Ada oma masuk acara kondangan perjamuan perkawinan tetangganya dengan cucunya, karena oma

sudah tua umur sdh 101 tahun terpaksa pengantin yang antarkan itu anggur ke kursi oma.

Habis oma minum pengantinnya tanya.

Pengantin : “bagaimana oma bisa berumur sampai 101 ?”

Oma : “haaa??? Apa…”

Karena oma tidak dapat mendengar, cucunya yang membisikkan pada telinga oma.

Cucu : “oma pengantin tanya bagaimana oma bisa berumur panjang dan bagaimana caranya?”

Oma : “Ohhhhh, pengantin kalau mau umur panjang musti dapat penyakit kayak oma.”

Pengantin : “Apa penyakit oma….?

Cucu berbisik ulang pada telinga oma

Cucu : “Pengantin bertanya apa penyakit oma .”

Oma : ”Penyakit oma adalah “PONGO” (tuli)

Pengantin keheranan kenapa oma penyakit tuli oma bisa buat umur panjang?

Pengantin : ”kenapa harus tuli oma???

Cucu berbisik ulang pada telinga oma

Cucu : ”Pengantin bertanya kenapa harus tuli?

Oma : ”Supaya TUHAN kalau panggil kita, kita tidak dengar.”

Pengantin : ”?!?!!!?!?!”

Bagaimana Membuat seorang Pendeta Naik haji

Ada Pak haji yang bersahabat dengan seorang pendeta.

Waktu akan nyebrang kali pendeta takut dan terpaksa Pak Haji menggendong Pendeta.

Ditengah- tengah sungai si pendeta cekikian sambil ngomong :

"Baru kali inilah pendeta naik haji".

Mendengar kata-2 pendeta itu pak Haji dongkol juga dan segera menjatuhkan sang pendeta di sungai sambil berkata :

"Baru kali ini haji membaptis pendeta".

Arti WWW dan HTTP menurut agama Islam dan Kristen

Ada Wak Haji kursus computer ber - sama-2 dengan seorang Pendeta.

Waktu ujian Pak Pendeta tanya pada Wak Haji : "Ji apa sih artinya WWW".

Dijawab dengan bisik- bisik "Wasalamalaikum, Wrahmatulahi, Wabarakatu" .

Ganti sekarang Wak haji tanya pada pendeta arti HTTP , dan dijawab oleh Pendeta :

"Arti HTTP = Haleluya Tuhan Tetap Peduli".

Hubungan Sex antara Cowok dengan Cewek

Hubungan Sex antara Cowok dengan Cowoq di sebut : HO-mo

Hubungan Sex antara Cewek dengan Ceweq di sebut : les-BY

Maka Sex antara Cowok dengan Cewek di sebut : HO-BY...

The Great Family Jokes

Great Family Jokes!

Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "There is an easy way to get what you want."
The other boy said, "How?"
The boy replied, "Just tell people you know their secret."
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!"
The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom, heres $10."
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!"
The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!"
The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come give your old man a hug!"

Important Life Morals:

1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa.
2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.
3. Save water. Drink beer.
4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick.
5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.
6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught.
7. Every one should marry. After all, happiness isn't the only thing in life...


Question: How many kids does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Three.
One to say, "But I never turn it on!" and two to say, "But I did it last time!"


Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour!"
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."


A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs??'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

The Weirdest Moment Before Eid al-Adha

Can Anyone Explain This??

The Most Weirdest Signs

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR  BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE  ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shopwindow:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE  FIELD FOR FREE. HOWEVER, THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

**********************************************************

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you
say?
 Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.I just couldn't help but send this along.
Too funny.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery
Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!

-----------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!

----------------
---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

****************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

*******************************************

And the winner
is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

***************************************************

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh,at least once a day!

The Best Gift To Your Mom

MAMA'S Bible - Gift To Old Mama

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a cockatoo who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it ....... Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes.

She wrote: Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much."

Love, Mama

How to Have A big Breast

There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, though, 'because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while'.

She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said.... 'Dew to  thircumsthanthith bewond my contwol, we will not have a thermon tewday.'

Ah Beng from Singapore

Someone asks Ah Beng why Lee Hsien Loong goes walking only in the evening
but not in the morning.
Ah Beng replies 'Because he is PM not AM'
===================
Ah Beng buys a new mobile. He sends a message to everyone in his Phone Book
& says,  'My Mobile  number has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310.  Now it
is Nokia 6610'
==================
Ah Beng : I am proud coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.
===================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
Dr : Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
===================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a  'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the park today, everybody said, "Oh GOD! Why U come
here again?"
===================
Ah Beng reports to police: 'Sir, all items are missing except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'Why the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
===================
Ah Beng comes back to his car & finds a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'
===================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases his notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
===================
Ah  Beng was sitting in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I am here?'
===================
Ah Beng always sit on the lower level of double-decker buses.
When asked why so, he says "Upstairs no driver".
===================
Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella.
 ===================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
===================

Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng: The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’
===================

Ah Beng: Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Can You See The Dog???

 

For most young men, this is a lady with a shapely hind end.  A smidgen large, perhaps, but still pretty doggone nice, and only the most observant will notice that she is crossing a street.

The really observant will also notice that she is wearing a thong.

To older men, she'll appear to be a respectable woman, with a nice tush, probably on her way to work.  Some of them will imagine her naked.  Most of them, really.
Wiser men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer to take the shot in the face of such beauty and be grateful that they shared it.
Some of the women will think she's an ordinary woman who just shouldn't have left home dressed that way, while some others, jealous, will think she is a slut but wonder where she bought that blouse.
Older women will imagine the misery those curves will cause by the time the woman reaches 50.

But only children, innocent and intelligent and observant, will notice that the taxi is being driven by a dog.

For most young men, this is a lady with a shapely hind end.  A smidgen large, perhaps, but still pretty doggone nice, and only the most observant will notice that she is crossing a street.

The really observant will also notice that she is wearing a thong.

To older men, she'll appear to be a respectable woman, with a nice tush, probably on her way to work.  Some of them will imagine her naked.  Most of them, really.
Wiser men will ponder the presence of mind of the photographer to take the shot in the face of such beauty and be grateful that they shared it.
Some of the women will think she's an ordinary woman who just shouldn't have left home dressed that way, while some others, jealous, will think she is a slut but wonder where she bought that blouse.
Older women will imagine the misery those curves will cause by the time the woman reaches 50.

But only children, innocent and intelligent and observant, will notice that the taxi is being driven by a dog.

How to Cheat Through Fishing

Wife Can't See Me Happy

Dear Dr. Phil,

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies.

As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing. A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested.

Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.

What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?
Thanks.

P.S. Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught

And this Is Dr. Phil Answers:



Dear Fisherman,
Get rid of that narrow minded wife.
That's a nice pair of bass!
Sincerely,
Dr. Phil

The Secret to A Long Life

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady on the street:, 
She was sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
     
“I couldn’t help but notice you! What is your secret?”

“I smoke ten cigars a day” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice  big joint.  Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every  week and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, have sex and I don’t exercise at all.”
       
“That is absolutely amazing!  How old are you?”
“Forty."

How to Become an Astronaut

Good Luck,  Mr. Gorsky

On July20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind,” were televised to Earth and heard by millions.

But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark: “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small mid-west town, he was playing baseball with a friend. His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbor’s yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky :

“Sex! You want sex? You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

Verzorgd Worden

Als gevolg van een hartinfarct ondergaat een man een openhartoperatie. 

Na de ingreep komt hij terug bij en ziet dat hij verzorgd wordt door religieuze zusters in een katholiek hospitaal.

Wanneer hij voldoende bij bewustzijn is, vraagt een zuster hem hoe hij die medische ingreep gaat betalen.

Ze vraagt hem of hij een ziekteverzekering heeft.

Met zwakke stem zegt hij: "Geen ziekteverzekering."

Ze vraagt hem: "Heb je geld op de bank staan?"

Hij antwoordt: "Geen geld op de bank."

Vervolgens vraagt ze: "Heb je geen familielid die je kan helpen?"

Hij zegt: "Ik heb enkel een zuster, een oude vrijster, die non is in een klooster."

De zuster antwoordt geërgerd: "Nonnen zijn geen oude vrijsters, zij zijn getrouwd met God!"

En de patiënt repliceert direct: " Stuur de factuur dan maar naar mijn zwager!"

Embarrassing Medical Exams

1. A man comes into the ER and yells....'
My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,
San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one?'. I asked. 'The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . ..
'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste'. Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit ,

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry... had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name,

AND FINALLY!! ! .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB. I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . .. .

'No doctor but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

Dr wouldn't submit his name....

1 MORE

Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed,' she replied...
'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'
I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.

The BEST Ways To Keep Your Man From Cheating

'Honey, can I go to Bangkok with my friends to play golf for a week? '

The reaction will depend on the level of trust she has in you:

1) Complete trust:
   'Sure, go and have a good time with your friends. I heard the golf courses there are fantastic. I'll book the flight and hotel for you'.

2) Incomplete trust with a benefit of a doubt
' Yes but please confined to the 18 holes on the golf course and have plenty of rest at night'

3) Incomplete trust with one eye closed
   ' Don't do anything which I would not approve'

4) No trust at all but has accepted the reality
' I'll pack the condom and viagra for you. Be careful, you are not young anymore'

5) No trust and high level of suspicion
  ' I will also go and keep you company at night'

6) Absolutely no trust
   'Of course you can but first let me do this..........'

How to heal 100% from Penile cancer (cancer of the penis)

Letter of Apology from the Hospital

A good hospital always apologises for its mistakes

                                                                     
Dear Sir:
The results from the laboratory tests confirmed that the red ring around you penis was not cancerous, as previously thought.
Seemingly, it was lipstick. We really Apologize for the amputation.

Regards,
Dick Less, MD,  F.R.C.s.

How to Write Romantic Messages

Romantic Messages

She sent the following message while waiting for her train:

My love

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams

If you are smiling, send me your smile

If you are crying, send me your tears

I love you



He replied:
I'm in the toilet. What do I send?