Sepasang suami istri kawatir kepada anak laki-laki mereka, karena meski sudah berusia 25 tahun ia belum juga mau bekerja & memikirkan masa depannya. Jadi suami istri itu memutuskan untuk melakukan satu test kecil kepada anaknya.
Mereka menaruh Selembar uang 100 US dollar, Sebuah kitab KUHP dan Segelinting ganja, di meja kecil di dekat pintu masuk.
Kemudian mereka sembunyi. Si suami bilang, "Bila ia mengambil uang, maka ia akan jadi bisnisman. Jika ia mengambil kitab KUHP, ia akan menjadi pengacara. Jika ia mengambil ganja, aku kuatir ia akan jadi pemabuk".
Sesaat kemudian sang anak pulang dan melihat ketiga benda itu. Ia kemudian mengambil uang 100 US dollar dan memasukkan ke dompetnya. Sejenak kemudian ia memandang kitab KUHP dan kemudian mengambilnya. Setelah itu ia mengambil lintingan ganjanya dan segera menikmatinya sambil pergi lagi keluar rumah.
Sang suami berbisik, "Wah, gawat. Ini lebih buruk dari yang kuperkirakan"
Apa maksudmu ? tanya istrinya."Dia ingin menjadi Ketua MK...." jawab sang suami.
Why You Must Happy To Be A Woman
Three men were hiking through a forest...
when they came upon a large raging, violent river.
Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed:
God, please give me the strength to cross the river.
God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed:
God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river
God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs...and he was able to row across in about an hour
after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men,
the third man prayed:
God, please give me the strength, the tools
and the intelligence to cross the river
HE WAS TURNED INTO A WOMAN!
She checked the map,hiked one hundred yards upstream...and walked across the bridge
Guys, if at first you don't succeed,
do it the way your wife told you!
GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH; TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!
when they came upon a large raging, violent river.
Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed:
God, please give me the strength to cross the river.
God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed:
God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river
God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs...and he was able to row across in about an hour
after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men,
the third man prayed:
God, please give me the strength, the tools
and the intelligence to cross the river
HE WAS TURNED INTO A WOMAN!
She checked the map,hiked one hundred yards upstream...and walked across the bridge
Guys, if at first you don't succeed,
do it the way your wife told you!
GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH; TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!
The Underworld's Biggest Secrets How to Talk to the Dead
"Yesterday I went to buy joss sticks and joss paper to pray for my ancestors.
The towkay asked me if I want to buy paper iPhone to burn for my ancestors. I said they know how to use or not? He said Steve Jobs already there, can teach them to use.
I said ok loh.
He asked want to buy casing?
I also said ok.
Next he asked me if I wanted Bluetooth?
I said might as well loh.
What about charger? I said need charger meh? He said of course lah, after battery no power how?
So I bought the charger also.
Then I asked for his name card.
He said why you need my name card? I said I burn for my ancestors. For warranty claim, they will contact you direct."
The towkay asked me if I want to buy paper iPhone to burn for my ancestors. I said they know how to use or not? He said Steve Jobs already there, can teach them to use.
I said ok loh.
He asked want to buy casing?
I also said ok.
Next he asked me if I wanted Bluetooth?
I said might as well loh.
What about charger? I said need charger meh? He said of course lah, after battery no power how?
So I bought the charger also.
Then I asked for his name card.
He said why you need my name card? I said I burn for my ancestors. For warranty claim, they will contact you direct."
The World's Best Entrepreneur Secrets of Management
Lesson 1
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 2
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
Lesson 3
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 2
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there...
Lesson 3
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
How To Have The Greatest Boss In The World
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Poof! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Poof! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
How To Have Sex With A Nun
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg...
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg...
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
The World's Biggest Secret How To Beat Your Wife
A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He couldn't control his curiosity and asked, "Do you always carry your TV remote with you?"
She replied, "No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today...
The story continues...
The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper, "What are you doing?" He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL: Respect the hobbies of your husband.
He couldn't control his curiosity and asked, "Do you always carry your TV remote with you?"
She replied, "No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today...
The story continues...
The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper, "What are you doing?" He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL: Respect the hobbies of your husband.
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