The Women's Secret Code! - Cracked and Hacked

After careful research and study. I think I may have cracked the woman's secret code.

Subject: 13 Things PMS stands for

 13 Things PMS Stands For:

 1. Pass My Shotgun

 2. Psychotic Mood Shift

 3. Perpetual Munching Spree

 4. Puffy Mid-Section

 5. People Make me Sick

 6. Provide Me with Sweets

 7. Pardon My Sobbing

 8. Pimples May Surface

 9. Pass My Sweatpants

 10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

 11. Plainly; Men Suck

 12. Pack My Stuff

 And my favorite one...

 13. Potential Murder Suspect

 THE HORMONE WARNING:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a  man has to do is open his mouth and he  takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as  common as a driver's license in  the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

 DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
 SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
 SAFEST: Where would you like to go for  dinner?
 ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

 DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
 SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
 SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
 ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate 

 DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
 SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
 SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
 ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

 DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
 SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples  left.
 SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
 ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

 DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
 SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
 SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
 ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

 And remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate  sings

In conclusion. I have determed. that this study could be a hazard to my health and sex life. So no farther research will be conducted. (By order of the wife with a really REALLY heavy frying pan standing over me)

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