Nambut Silaning Akrami
KATE MIDDLETON, Amd.
(Putri Bpk. Michael / Ibu Carole)
kaliyan
WILLIAM ARTHUR PHILLIP LOUIS,SE,MM
(Putra Bpk. Charles Philip Arthur George / Ibu Diana Spencer .almh)
Dhaup Suci :
Dinten : Jumat Kliwon
Suryo Kaping : 29 April 2011
Wanci Tabuh : 09.30
Mapan ing : Wsminster Abey, London
Winantu Sagunging Pakurmatan,
Kanthi Lumaraping Nawala Sedhahan, Minangka Sesulih Pisowan Kula Wonten ing Ngarsa Panjenengan,
Sinartan Nyadhong Berkahing Gusti Ingkang Maha Tunggal, Kula Sabrayat Hanggadhahi Pangangkah Badhe Ngawontenaken Syukuran Tuwin Pawiwahan Dhauping Sri Penganten Anak Kula,
Dinten : Jumat Kliwon
Suryo Kaping : 29 April 2011
Wanci Tabuh : 12.00 – 14.00
Mapan ing Gedung Kraton Buckingham, London.
Setuhu Badhe Damel Bombong Saha Mongkoging Manah Kula Sabrayat, Bilih Dhangan ing Penggalih Saha Sepen ing Sambekala Bapak / Ibu Kepareng Rawuh Hangestreni Saha Paring Puja Pangastuti Dhumateng Anak Kula Sri Penganten, Supados Dados Kaluwarga Ingkang Bagya Mulya
Wasan Kula Sagotrah Hangaturaken Agunging Panuwun Saha Nyuwun Lubering Pangaksami Sadaya Kekirangan Dalah Kalepatan Kula.
Atur Taklim Kula,
Keluarga Bpk. Michael/Ibu Carole
Keluarga Bpk. Charles/Ibu Diana (almh)
♥ Kate & William ♥.
Duka Cita Mbah Parjo
Suatu malam seorang laki-laki berkata :
"Kita lahir ke dunia ini bersama-sama, kita jalani masa2 indah bersama, suka-duka bersama. Tapi kenapa teganya kamu mati duluan meninggalkan aku sendirian?".
Demikian pertanyaan Mbah Parjo sambil mengintip si buyung di dalam sarungnya.
"Kita lahir ke dunia ini bersama-sama, kita jalani masa2 indah bersama, suka-duka bersama. Tapi kenapa teganya kamu mati duluan meninggalkan aku sendirian?".
Demikian pertanyaan Mbah Parjo sambil mengintip si buyung di dalam sarungnya.
Down to The Last Penny
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy three 5 rupee coins to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the coins but is still choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat
and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter!!!
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the coins, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'
'No', the woman replied, 'I'm with CitiBank - Loan Department.........
He gives the young boy three 5 rupee coins to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the coins but is still choking.
Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat
and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his pants; takes hold of the boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. tighter and tighter!!!
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the coins, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'
'No', the woman replied, 'I'm with CitiBank - Loan Department.........
When Doctor Having Sex
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers.
They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors.
After about an hour, the man says to the woman.
"Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun."
The woman doctor agrees to it.
So, they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom.
She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room.
She scrubs for a good 10 minutes.
Finally, she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman,
"You're a surgeon, aren't you?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
The man says,
"I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started."
"Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. "You're an anaesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man, a bit surprised. "How did you know?"
The woman answers,
"Because I slept through most of it and didn't feel a thing."
They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors.
After about an hour, the man says to the woman.
"Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun."
The woman doctor agrees to it.
So, they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom.
She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room.
She scrubs for a good 10 minutes.
Finally, she goes in the bedroom and they have sex for an hour or so.
Afterwards, the man says to the woman,
"You're a surgeon, aren't you?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
The man says,
"I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started."
"Oh, that makes sense", says the woman. "You're an anaesthesiologist aren't you?" "Yeah", says the man, a bit surprised. "How did you know?"
The woman answers,
"Because I slept through most of it and didn't feel a thing."
Sniffer
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.' The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the agent said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.'
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Say, that's pretty neat,' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'
I like it!' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again..
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really grossed out by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?'
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'
The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.
'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.' The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the agent said, 'Watch this.' He told Sniffer to 'search.'
Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.
Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.
'Say, that's pretty neat,' replied the first man.
Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles.
The lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm.
The agent said, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'
I like it!' said his seat mate.
The agent then told Sniffer to 'search' again..
Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.
The first man was really grossed out by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that, so he asked the agent, 'What's going on?'
The agent nervously replied, 'He just found a bomb.'
Words to Remember
Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.
Some Wacky Mature Quotes
If necessity is the mother of invention, then…
Frustration is the father of masturbation!
Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger !
I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed.
Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fucking her!
The difference between sex and death is that, with death, you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS !
Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face.
The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman tell the other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked.
Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight.
New Proverb: Boobs are curves that make
Something super straight...!
Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes.
Fuck a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll fuck you!
All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy.
The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's got you by the balls.
Frustration is the father of masturbation!
Always marry a woman with small palms. It makes your dick look bigger !
I believe in safe sex...I've got a handrail around the bed.
Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fucking her!
The difference between sex and death is that, with death, you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Life without Friends is like Boobs without Nipples... POINTLESS !
Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face.
The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a woman tell the other: UNITED we are saved, Divided we are Fucked.
Old Proverb: A smile is a curve that makes everything straight.
New Proverb: Boobs are curves that make
Something super straight...!
Slogan on a boy's T-shirt: Please tell your boobs not to stare at my eyes.
Fuck a girl & she'll love you... Love a girl & she'll fuck you!
All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy.
The irony of a blow job is that even if you have her at your feet she's got you by the balls.
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