Zinc Barrel Soup

Obama: "I want goat fried rice."

SBY (bisik2 sama ajudan-nya): "Nasi goreng kambing Kebon Sirih... Cepetan!!!"

Setelah makan Obama mengangguk tanda setuju.

Obama: "I want veal tail soup."

SBY (bisik2 sama ajudan-nya): "Sop buntut, dari Hotel Borobudur, cepetan!!!!!!!"

setelah makan Obama mengangguk tanda setuju.

Obama: "I want zinc barrel soup."

SBY kepada ajudan-nya: "Apaan tuh? Loe tau ngak?????"

Ajudan SBY: "TONGSENG Pak..."

Barrack Obama & Megawati

Pada Jamuan makan malam bersama Presiden Yudhoyono, Obama berusaha beramahtamah dengan Megawati yang sedang mengambil Salad di meja prasmanan:

Obama:  "Do You Like Salad?"

Megawati "Oh yes I do Like Shalat (Salad), even 5 times a day"

Obama "Oh that's very good, what kind of dressing do use?"

Megawati "Mukenah Of Course"

Obama : "terheran-heran dan berfikir mungkin itu dressing salad model baru.

Pada saat mengambil mie bakso Megawati berganti ingin beramahtamah dengan Obama

Megawati "Do you Like Me? (Mie)"

Obama "Oh Yes I Do Very Much"

Megawati "Then You should Try Me (Mie), still Hot You Know:) "

Obama " ... ???

About Men & Women

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward...forward. ..backward. ..forward. ..backward. ...forward. ......  stop and eject

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are fucked up.

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction
A: A teabag.

Qualities to be a perfect wife:
     Beautiful
     Responsible
     Energetic
     Adorable
     Sweet
     Truthful
     Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good

B.R.E.A.S.T. S

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology.When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is Sociology.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt.Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy's hand.

Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath, Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked 'Why '?
The animals told him......... ..'Your tail is in the front'

Little John's Black Eye

John walked into class every morning with a black eye . After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it.

John answer was:
"Our house is very small Miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed.
Every night my father asks, 'John are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye.

So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer".

The following morning John comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. But
The day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again."My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?"

He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'John are you sleeping?... And I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father And my mother started moving {you know} at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically And squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"...

Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you cuming?' Then my mom says, 'Yes I'm cuming, are you cuming too?' and my Dad answered 'Yes'.
They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said
'Wait' for me!!!!!!!

Aids

KHAN  : "Mom, I've AIDS"
Mother : "Don't come back my son".
KHAN  : "Why Mom?".
Mother : "If you come back then your wife will be infected. From your wife to your brother, from your brother to our maid, from our maid to your dad, from your dad to my sister and from my sister to her husband, from him to me and from me to our driver, from our driver to your sister and if your sister got AIDS, then...the whole village will be infected !
So in the name of God please save our village.
Don't come back!...

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'  The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?

We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
and Divorced Barbie for $2,265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?!   Why is the Divorced Barbie $2,265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:

'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

Hardwork

A well dressed man went into a bar ordered a double whiskey. He stood there sipping his drink when another man came up and said "Is that you Pete??"
Pete said "My name is Pete, but I don`t think I know you"
The second man said "You do, it`s me, Martin we used to work at the company together before it closed down"
Pete said "Now I remember you, but what happened to you? You are all in scruffy clothes. We got good redundancy money when we finished. What happened Martin??"
Martin said "I blew it all on cars women and drink. I'm totally broke now, but look at you Pete. All in the best clothes and I've seen your posh car outside. How did you do it??"
Pete said "Well I wanted to make my money work for me. So I thought if you have some money, London is the best place to do that. I bought a three story house. On the first floor there was ordinary sex - just men and woman. On the second floor homo sex - you know, men shagging men-, and on the third floor paedophile sex for them who like shagging children. I must say I made a fortune.
Mind you it was hard work: just me, the wife and the kids."