Father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blond woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them. She explained that another member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio if she could join them.
Naturally, the guys all agreed. Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said: "Look, guys, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color stories, or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."
With that, the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first. All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green. The father's mouth was agape: "That was beautiful," he said.
The blonde put her driver away and said: "I really didn't get into it and I faded it a little."
After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out a nine iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole.
The son said: "Damn, lady, you played that perfectly."
The blonde frowned and said: "It was a little weak. I've left a tricky little putt," before tapping in the five-footer for a birdie. Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole and knocked the hell out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away, smack in the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.
When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She turned to the three guys and said: "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 25-year old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and then show him a good time the rest of the night.
The son jumped at the thought. He strolled across the green, carefully eying the line of the putt and finally said: "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."
The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb: "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly, 10 inches to the right and run it left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup."
The old gray haired grandfather walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said: "That's a gimme, sweetheart. Your car or mine?"
Story of Melt Princess
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
metal,
wood,
stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that
does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring
his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
THREE YOUNG PRINCE TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed. .
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince ' s pants?
(Scroll down for the answer)
M&M's of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
metal,
wood,
stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that
does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring
his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.
THREE YOUNG PRINCE TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed. .
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince ' s pants?
(Scroll down for the answer)
M&M's of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??
Masturbating
Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied: 'MASTURBATING. ' (master bathing)
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied: 'MASTURBATING. ' (master bathing)
Something Wrong
A Chinese couple got married.
When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ('some thing wrong')
When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ('some thing wrong')
3 meals
A lady visited her doctor one morning.
Doc said: 'You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : 'Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!'
Doc said: 'You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : 'Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!'
Newspaper
Wife: 'I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!'
Husband: 'I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!
Husband: 'I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!
A Camel and An Elephant
A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked:
'Why do you have your tits on your back?'
The camel responded:
'What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!
'Why do you have your tits on your back?'
The camel responded:
'What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!
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