When body was first made, all parts wanted to be the Boss. Brain said I because I decide.
Feet said us and so did the Heart Lungs, Hands, and Eyes.
Finally Asshole said I should be the Boss.
All parts started laughing.
So Asshole went on strike, blocked itself, and refused to open. In a short time, Hands cranked, Eyes blurred, Ears emitted hot air, Brain got heavy, Heart and Lungs panicked...
So they all agreed that Asshole should be the BOSS !
Moral of the story is:
It doesn't matter how talented you are... Any Asshole can be your Boss.
Mongolian VD
An American tourist goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple bumps.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.
The man returns in a couple of days and the doctor says: 'I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it'. The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc'. The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure.
We're going to have to amputate your penis'. The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion'.
The doctor replies: 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice'.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease..
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease'.
The guy says to the doctor: 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that!, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?'
What, cut you dick off !!! The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!'
'Oh, Thank God!', the man replies.
'Yes', says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks, fall off by itself!'
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple bumps.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.
The man returns in a couple of days and the doctor says: 'I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it'. The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc'. The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure.
We're going to have to amputate your penis'. The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion'.
The doctor replies: 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice'.
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease..
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease'.
The guy says to the doctor: 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that!, but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?'
What, cut you dick off !!! The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!'
'Oh, Thank God!', the man replies.
'Yes', says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks, fall off by itself!'
Little Mohamed In France
Little Mohamed entered his classroom in France.
What is your name? asked the teacher. "Mohammad...." answered the kid. "Here we are in France, there is no Mohamed. From now on your name will be Jean-Francois" replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohamed returned home. "How was your day, Mohamed?" asked his mother. "My name is not Mohamed, I am in France and my name is Jean-Francois." "Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you..." and she beat him. Then she called the father and he too beat him savagely. The next day Mohamed returned to school.
When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked: "What happened my little Jean-Francois?." "Well Miss, just two hours after becoming French I was attacked by two Arabs!"
What is your name? asked the teacher. "Mohammad...." answered the kid. "Here we are in France, there is no Mohamed. From now on your name will be Jean-Francois" replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohamed returned home. "How was your day, Mohamed?" asked his mother. "My name is not Mohamed, I am in France and my name is Jean-Francois." "Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you..." and she beat him. Then she called the father and he too beat him savagely. The next day Mohamed returned to school.
When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked: "What happened my little Jean-Francois?." "Well Miss, just two hours after becoming French I was attacked by two Arabs!"
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